Not A Failure

Oh friends, let me first just say I KNOW you are not a failure!!! I wrote this post Whispers And Lies before Mother’s Day, but here we are again… it is now nearly five months later and I feel like this whisper is trying to resurface. I hear it among friends, I can feel it trying to squeeze back into my thoughts… what makes me cringe the most? I have heard kiddos struggle with this lie.

The fact that you are still here proves it! You haven’t given up. You could be in the middle of your greatest fear, but you are still here. You are not a failure! You could be accepting that your life did not go as you had planned, but you are still here. You are not a failure! You could be mourning more deeply than you ever knew was possible about choices or cruddy situations that a loved one is in, but you are still here. You & your loved one are not failures! You could be struggling to reclaim some normalcy back after switching to survival mode for a bit, but you are still here. You are not a failure! You could have that perpetual “to do” item that you are never actually getting to. You are still here; you are not a failure! Maybe you have goals you haven’t reached. Maybe you have goals you haven’t even had the mental or emotional space to attempt (or begin to attempt) to work towards. You are still here. You are NOT a failure. Maybe you have made choices & then changed your mind. Maybe everywhere you turn there is another new problem. Maybe you have been accused of things that are so completely the opposite of who you are, that the thought someone could think that of you ripped you to your core. You need truth spoken to you. God knows the truth about you. Deep down, you know the truth too. You are NOT a failure. To the mamas who adapted their plans of how they would feed their newborn to their reality of your kiddo’s needs, you AND your kiddo are still here. You are not a failure! Your kids could completely bomb a spelling test or miss every problem on their math homework, but that does not make them a failure. We would not tell this to our kids or our friends, but we can allow these lies to seep into how we define or question ourselves. Maybe it is hearing a kiddo be down on themselves that opens our eyes? Hearing a kiddo say, “I am a loser.” or “Why am I so dumb?” is completely gut wrenching. I want to scoop up any kiddo saying that & assure them that they are not dumb or a loser or any other negative self-talk dialog they are having. I wonder if God feels the same punch in the gut when we call ourselves failures?

Maybe it is that the flies that have been the worst for us this year that makes me want to run with this analogy, so try to hang tight a second for me. Ugh, if you know the torture it is that it only takes TWO flies to make a huge problem, then you understand my analogy of how just a few lies we allow ourselves to believe to be true, can fester into an entire takeover of our thoughts. Let’s get out the fly swatter & squash these lies before they multiply into something more. What has God told us to be true? We are created in

His image (Genesis 1:27). We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). We are his friend (John 15:15). We are a child of God & his heir (Galatians 4:7). We are God’s masterpiece & he has made plans for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10). The Bible is packed full of truths about God & about us. The Bible also shares wisdom of lies that try to sneak in. I have seen it so many times, how simple it is for someone to put a question or thought in our minds & then we can drift down a road of self-doubt. What can hurt so much as well, is when people put a question about our character in other’s minds. All they had to do was just put a question out there. Sometimes people are easily swayed & run with that lie they were told about another. And sometimes people recognize it as not necessarily true, but it still leaves that “what if” or “maybe there is some truth to it” thoughts in their mind. Even people who claim to be subjective, change after a whisper of untruth was uttered around them. People step away. People are human. Who doesn’t step away? Who draws near us in our pain? God. There will be people who persecute the poor & needy. People who hound the brokenhearted to death (Psalm 109:16). Here is the BUT… He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds (Psalm 147:3). The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). I share these truths because I need these reminders too. God is our friend. He has truths for us about who we are. He wants us to be confident in who we are & not lose ourselves to the lies trying to take hold of us. Friends, we were created for community. It is okay and it is NORMAL to need others to speak truth into our lives.

Let me share with you a small story of defeat I learned as a teenager. Did you play sports or participate in any team activities as a kiddo? I played soccer. I LOVED soccer. I played on a few teams because I could not get enough of the game. So here is the thing, I had a coach who really pushed us. He required everyone on the team to rotate through all the positions at least once. He required strikers & forwards to play as goalie at least once in a game during each season. He knew how to push us & that made us take on the unknown of a new position (it also gave us some good experience to know the struggles of the position we were playing against 😉). He also had a rule, if the goalie was scored on 3 times, they were subbed out. This is not because he was mad at the goalie, but because he understood the feeling of defeat that happened after not stopping three shots on goal. The goalie became defeated & felt like a failure. They no longer believed that they could go after each additional shot on goal with the same confidence. Friends, we need that confidence. I don’t care if you have been scored on one hundred, ten thousand, or a million times, YOU are NOT a failure.

It is okay if we need to sub out for a bit, that does not make you a failure. I believe taking those moments to sub out or take a break is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves & model for those around us. After hearing a friend share about life with her kids. She shared her rule that everything in their house is also her kiddos, except one thing. This one thing is just for Mom… she has Oreo’s as her treat when she

subs out for a bit. She teaches them it is okay, and not just okay, but healthy for Mom to have one thing to herself, that is not for anyone else. So, what is your pack of Oreo’s? What is your I am taking a moment out of the normal chaos? Maybe it is Oreo's? Or maybe it will be now? Maybe it is the hidden dark chocolate with almonds bar that you break a piece off at night? (Wanna know my secret? I may pick the dark chocolate not just because I like it, but because if the kids see it, they do not want it!) Our little sub outs can look so differently & at different times. Maybe at times it is just taking a minute in the other room to close your eyes & picture your calm place? Maybe it is to step outside for fresh air & feel the sun on your face? Maybe it is to take a walk or listen to music? Maybe it is to call a friend? Whatever your sub out looks like, it is now a new moment, a place in time, completely new from 5 seconds before. You have a gift to start again. It is in these moments of refresh that I am genuinely thankful & able to see these simple gifts around me. Have you ever been sitting completely still & a bird lands close to you or comes right up to your window ledge, not seeing you yet? I have tried & failed many times to grab a quick picture so I could remember this moment, only to have the bird see me move & fly away. That flash of a moment was here & gone so fast. I missed the point of it. I now see these moments as a gift before me. I now choose to sit & soak it in for the seconds or minutes I am given. This picture was meant for just me to see. It was a gift from the God who sees me, knows me & still loves me.

I pray that we are all filled with such truth about who we are, that we can see these lies trying to sneak back into our thoughts. So, let’s get out that lie-swatter before they breed into an all-consuming nest of lies. Friend & sister, you are LOVED. You are VALUED. You are NEEDED. You are created for a PURPOSE. I want you to know that you are so much more than just “not a failure”. You are successful! You are a survivor! You are living through normal life obstacles PLUS this weird Covid-19 stuff that none of us ever thought we would see in our lifetimes. You are a rockstar. You are a masterpiece.

GIVEAWAY:

Friends, as I have been sneaking in moments to write this post, I have smiled as I glanced at my phone lock screen. I created a picture to remind me that I am not a failure, and you know what? It makes me smile every time I see it. If you are interested, shoot me an email at lovethismesslylife6.8@gmail.com and I will be happy to send you a “Not A Failure” digital wallpaper you can glance at as well. Sending love friends!

Love,

Brynn

WARNING:

I believe in safe space for everyone. If this post isn't your thing, no big deal, just move on. I am sure you will find that thing that you are passionate to encourage others about. Any negative comments will be removed.